Brigitte Nielson A Review

It’s been a while since I’ve been on the blog, but with all the recent love felt by all with the many Marvel movies that have been coming out over the years, I felt the urge to comment on one that never got off the ground. Sure we all know about the wonder that is The Avengers and its awesomeness even though I had more fun watching the other Whedon hit A Cabin in the Woods.

I could go on and on about Marvel’s horrible taste is choosing their women characters much like a man who chooses only to date hookers. At least Marvel girls are clean, so clean that they are boring. Marvel is really good at that. DC on the other hand is excellent at picking great characters from their roster of heroines and then putting them in vehicles that would be more suitable for a Comedy Central Roast instread of the big screen. 

This would be a perfect spot to comment on the title of this blog. So, what exactly connects Brigitte Neilsen and The Avengers besides her attempts to avenge the death of her career? It's kind of like the twist in a suspenseful horror movie when we realize that she was the one who killed it in the end. Well, most might not know this, or care, but our Danish amazon was once set to play Marvel’s own jade giantess She-Hulk.

The "soon to be" that "never was".

I can remember lusting over the words when I first read about them on Wikipedia a few years ago. I will be honest, I hunger for movies about kick-ass women the way Japanese business men lust over sulfur smelling panties. Aside from that distasteful remark, I have to say that I have always admired many of the female comic book superheroes that have been published over the years. Alas, there seems to be this clause in each of their contracts that states they have to be in a movie spin off that is going to be canceled before it starts filming. Worse yet, the subclause states that their movie has to bring in as little money as possible.  

The major movie studios usually put out two films every twenty years that chronicle a comic book heroine’s journey that could be more adequate as campy stand up comedy. They don’t get the respect they deserve, which is shocking, because the publishing side of the industry seems to find able minds to give these ladies cool storylines.  Being born in the 80’s, I missed the first round, but they always follow the same formula.

They are always from the two major comic book publishers DC and Marvel; they usually are about female counterpart of their male counterpart. Said male counter part's franchise has to be doing bad or producers have exhausted their story and descide to use the female counter part because it is an option in the contract. Clever studio executives have found an new way around this with the advent of the re-make trend that has consumed Hollywood. They should just call themselves Stupidwood from now.

The first go around was with Helen Slater, born on the same day as myself, in Supergirl. I don’t get it, they had all the makings of something cool and new. They had a new starlet who was hot and fit the mold of the character. They had a great supporting cast of well known actors, I mean highly regarded actors like Faye Dunaway, Peter O’Toole, Brenda Veccaro, and Mia Farrow and they still put out a dud that was really about a prolonged cat fight between the bitter aging woman and her naïve counterpart. I mean the Omega Hedron was needed to save Supergirl’s home colony- the one she could mysteriously fly back to even though she wasn’t in our solar system anymore. The witch Selena wanted to use it for “nothing less that world domination,” which sets up a pretty interesting plot that gets lost in them fighting over what misogynists think all women fight over…men.

Brigitte as Red Sonja

Enter Marvel's follow up to that formula with Red Sonja, which takes us back to our girl Brigitte. Although lacking a decent back-up cast Arnold Swart (however you spell his name) included, most of them were already recognized from the Conan movies, which were a hit before Red Sonja came out. We are still set with a story line about how Sonja should trust men more and be more willing to let them bone her between forest duels or to use the Hyborian highway.  

My interest in these movies started at a young age when my parents wouldn’t let me watch either of them. Why? Well because my parents had this strict thing against anything that could be portrayed as paganism. Both Supergirl and Red Sonja were magic heavy with either evil witches or magic talismans. The lesbian overtones in Red Sonja didn’t help the cause much either. This created a massive desire to see the forbidden. I can still remember when Supergirl would come on television, I could watch everything up until the big demon gets summoned and then the t.v. had to shut off. WTF! That’s like watching the last line up at the end of a tied game only to have to switch over to the Home Shopping Network. Perhaps my parents were just trying to spare me the visuals of bad filmaking. I do own both of them on DVD now, and I have no regrets.

I do regret that She-Hulk never made it to the big or small screen. Now before people think me a fool, I will be honest when I say that they probably wouldn't have done it any better with her than the other films, but I like the idea of it. It lead me to scoure the internet trying to find anything that would tell me more about why, how, when, and where this was to be. By the time the second round came with Catwoman (a.k.a. Showgirls 2) and Electra (a.k.a. a green lit movie adapted from a phone book) I knew the formula pretty well. I came to expect super hero movies with female leads to be bad. I didn’t have much hope for a live action She-Hulk movie, but I would have watched it and owned it just the same hoping that my measly money would somehow crack the box office into giving it a shot at a franchise with a better sequel or spin-off series.

So far as Brigitte goes, I actually think She- Hulk would have been the perfect role for her. Even with as bad as Red Sonja was, I still can’t help but feel that she was carving out a niche for herself as this cool female action star that wasn’t hideous. That ugly red mullet aside, I feel like the ending kissing scene of Red Sonja was the closet we’ll come to seeing Governor Arnold do a gay movie.  

The She-Hulk photo stills are like watching the Nothing come. All that remains of this once rich idea is a few publicity shots that showcased her in the form of one of Marvels infinitely more interesting and readable characters. From the looks of the pictures, they didn’t seem like they would really be able to do a Lou Ferrigno thing, but it makes my imagination stir. I kept thinking this could have been the equivalent of what Lynda Carter was in the Wonder Woman series of the 70’s. It should be noted that it was the only time one of these major studios got their property right. I love you Lynda.

Brigitte looking cool as She-Hulk

I jump started my research when I heard that they would be making a remake of Red Sonja, which catapulted me into happiness when I found that Rose McGowan would be the lead. It was another great casting choice, especially with those AWESOME movie posters that seemed to go the way of the She-Hulk movie, which never materialized past the “tease” part. There seems to be a compensation period because Rose got a part in Conan. I was looking forward to finding the Holy Grail bundle pack of the old Red Sonja and Rose’s Red Sonja in the $5.99 bin in Wal-Marts all over the country. Brigitte got compensation in the form of being able to bed most of Hollywood’s leading men – Flavor Flav excluded- and making an appearance in Beverly Hills Cop 2. I still can’t seem to shake the appeal of this fine B-movie actress. I know so when she appears in sequels to things that should never have gotten sequels a’ la Sorceress and Chained Heat. Still I feel that Brigitte was compensated with the movie Galaxis in 1995. There she goes from sword and sorcery to outter space where she must retrieve a sacred crystal. It’s fun to watch her wave her manly lips while bitch slapping horrible CGI androids that look like cardboard cut outs. She brings out the big guns here. Her having some pistol whipping action in Beverly Hills Cops 2 is an honorable mention, but putting all the stupid relationship drama aside, two forgettable albums, failed marriages, and incredibly stupid stints on reality television, I have to say that Brigitte Neilson gave us three very cool things that were very much up her ally.

I weep that this was never made.

1.) The dream of her as She-Hulk and the reality of knowing that the producers didn’t get the chance to fuck the character up along with the idiots who were the studio heads.

2.) Red Sonja        

3.) Galaxis – her compensation for not getting to be She-Hulk in my opinion.

She-Hulk does deserve the same treatment as her more famous cousin as I can’t think of a solo title for a female character that has survived the test of time in Marvel the way she has. She was an Avenger too and much cooler one than Black Widow. She was a member of the Fantastic Four before Jessica Alba was horribly miss-cast. Sure there are many cool women in the Marvel line up, but most are affiliated with a team book, and the ones that did have solo books usually didn’t last as long as She-Hulk in history and appeal. I’m sure there was a tie breaker somewhere between the 1980s when John Bryne breathed such a cool life back into her with his run, which is all the more reason she should be exalted on film. She earned it in comics. 

Until then, we can play six degrees of She-Hulk until there is a descent script. Here’s what I have so far.

She-Hulk is created by Stan Lee because he is afraid that a competitor would make a female counter part to the successful Hulk television show.

She-Hulk is owned by Marvel Comics who also owned Red Sonja at the time. Brigitte Nielsen’s first movie was Red Sonja.

The producers of the She-Hulk movie were impressed with her stint as Red Sonja so they offered her the role and got the pictures taken so the legend goes. This would now allow the competitor show that Stan Lee was afraid of being created to now be a Marvel property.

Joss Whedon was slated to write and direct the live action Wonder Woman movie, but backed out over fights with studio executives and when he couldn’t find a suitable story (a surprise to me since he made Black Widow interesting). How does this relate to She-Hulk? The scriptwriter of that live action movie also had trouble coming up with a story as well, which led the movie to be shelved just like the Wonder Woman movie. She-Hulk is often compared as Marvel’s Wonder Women and Joss Whedon went on to direct The Avengers, a team that She-Hulk was a part of.

So now we have Brigitte Nielsen who was to play She-Hulk, but didn’t, and then went through a tumultuous Hollywood career where she landed on The Surreal Life with the famous female wrestler Chyna who has just recently subjugated herself to the meat grinder known as Vivid Video where she has appeared in The Avenger’s XXX a porn parody where she plays She-Hulk, not to be outdone by She-Hulk XXX a porn parody, which will be a solo movie featuring Chyna as She-Hulk getting some prison justice by who knows how many of the Avengers. This is set to be released in the winter of 2012.

Chyna as She-Hulk.

Once again we see female superhero movies being made by idiots, but hey, I expect it by now. I’ll probably add She-Hulk XXX to the same shelf that holds Supergirl, Red Sonja, Catwoman, Electra, Barb Wire, Cutey Honey Live Action, Sucker Punch, Silver Hawk, and Barbarella.

Until then, I wonder if Brigitte even remembers taking those pictures or even being up for the role. I wonder if she randomly searches the internet and finds her pal Chyna in the green body paint and has flashbacks to the late 80s when the role was once hers. I tried getting a copy of Brigitte’s memoir to see if there would even be a paragraph, a sentence, a mention of what happened with her and this role, but I’m not holding out. Turns out her book You Only Live One Life, hasn’t lived to see a second printing. No Barnes and Nobels in New York City has it, and I couldn’t even find it at the library, which hasn’t changed since the time Brigitte was offered the role in the late 80s. So I find myself imagining like I usually have to do. I think I can almost see the trailer for it. I have been able to conjure false memories of being a child watching the television, shouting at my brother to change the channel back to the show with the big green lady, the one where my father yells at me for watching her in skimpy clothing, where she shows a little too much green, and how I should like Superman more than a female crime fighter. I would wait until I was at comic- com fifteen years later where I would find a vendor who had a bootleg copy burned onto a DVD with an amateur made cover, because the real thing would have gone out of print a long time ago. I would buy and cherish it as a piece of treasure that would sit next to Red Sonja in my imaginary Brigitte Neilson Collection box set that I made out of loose cardboard, staples, and a felt tip marker. I would sit back and think the world was a better place with my more complete collection. I would tell myself, “Now all you need is Galaxis and Chained Heat 2” and you can have a Brigitte Neilson movie night marathon.        

Chyna as She-Hulk clothed thankfully

To the three people that care, I want to offer an update. Evidentially Nicholas Cage has been lobbying for Eva Menendez to play She-Hulk. There is some Hollywood rumor that Megan Fox was slated to play She-Hulk, but they said the same thing about Wonder Woman, Red Sonja, Witchblade, and now Fathom. It’s only because she has the body and face of every women in comics especially Michael Turner’s women. Still, having Nicholas Cage fight for a She-Hulk movie in the future looks about as bright as having Obama or Romney in the presidency.

Oh Gawd, here’s hoping for better days…

Brigitte as She-Hulk one last time. Thanks for trying Brigitte!

May's Peculiar Person of the Month: Erotic Author J.P. Barnaby

J.P. as part of the No Hate on Prop 8 campaign.

J.P. Barnaby describes herself and a small town girl who majored in Physics while enjoying the bragging rights as a member of MENSA. This software writer for a Chicago based firm has more than meets the eye. For the past three years, J.P. has been doing a different type of writing. The kind that might quicken the pulse and punish the prudish as she makes a name for herself as an author with a specialty in the exploration of gay relationships and bondage. A surprise to her friends and family and even herself, she was kind enough to submit to some questions and open herself up to This Peculiar Life NYC. Here she reveals a special preview of her writing while including her take on love, sexuality, and the appeal of men flogging each another on Xtube.

This Peculiar Life NYC: How many books have you written?

J.P. Barnaby:  I have 12 published pieces – 3 short stories, 1 novella, and 8 novels. The novels break into two separate series: The Forbidden Room series (M/M/F and M/M BDSM romance) and the Little Boy Lost series which is about two teenage boys trying to keep their relationship together against insurmountable odds [in] backwater Alabama.

T.P.L. NYC: You specialize in gay erotic fiction. What is it about this genre that appeals to you?

J.P.B:  What inspires me to write gay erotic fiction is the same thing that inspires me to watch gay erotic videos – the idea of two men making themselves open and vulnerable to each other is erotic to me. Also, I’m a complete audiophile, and listening to excited men turns me on.

T.P.L. NYC:  Who and what are some of your favorite authors and things to read?

J.P.B.:  From my own genre, I love the works on J. M. Snyder, Zathyn Priest … and Davitt & Snow. Other authors you’ll find in abundance on my Kindle include: J. K. Rowling, Stephen King… and Dean Koontz. I like to read fast-paced, character driven stories with well-developed [entertaining] ideas.

T.P.L. NYC:  How long have you been writing?

J.P.B.: I wrote the Forbidden Room series in 2009, and began its publication in December of that year.

T.P.L. NYC:  Do you write anything else besides erotic fiction? If so, what genre/titles are they?

J.P.B.:  I have been asked by several publishers to write Young Adult fiction, which I am developing. I also have been toying with the idea of heterosexual contemporary romance and Sci-Fi/Fantasy. All of my work to date is gay romance with strong erotic elements.

T.P.L. NYC:  There is an emerging community of women who enjoy gay erotic material. What do you think the appeal of gay relationships is to heterosexual women? Just how many women do you feel like gay adult material?

J.P.B.:  A majority of the authors who write gay romance are women—gay, straight, or bisexual. I can only speak for myself as a bisexual woman, but my question to you is, what is the appeal of men who love lesbian porn? The unfamiliar? Two women instead of one? The taboo nature? I can only imagine that the answers by other women would be similar.

T.P.L. NYC:  Growing up, girls and women used to say that men liked to watch two women have sex, but that they did not like watching two men have sex. How do you respond to something like this? Are women hiding their true feelings, or do you think that it is true for most women?

J.P.B.:  I think that each of us has our own sense of what we find erotic. Also, in our society, women are discouraged from watching erotic material, though men have no such restrictions. It could be that these women don’t feel comfortable sharing that type of intimate secret, that they haven’t actually watched two men make love, or that they genuinely aren’t interested in the subject. But a majority of the authors and readers of gay romance are women, so clearly there are some of us that do enjoy watching or reading about that type of relationship.

T.P.L. NYC:  Do you feel women gravitate to gay erotic content because adult entertainment markets so much of its heterosexual entertainment to men? Or do you feel that there is an unconscious fear or displeasure for women to see themselves portrayed as just an object in traditional erotic entertainment? Do you think women can also be equal to men when it comes to eroticizing the opposite gender?

J.P.B.:  I think straight porn is boring. The women are fake, their reactions (which I have experience with as a woman) are fake, and I can only stand to listen to “oh yeah baby give it to me” so many times before I start looking for something else. My preferred porn is gay bondage, again because of the vulnerability which I find a total turn on. But, do I see porn as objectifying women? No. Just as I don’t see gay porn as objectifying men.

T.P.L. NYC:  What do you feel women really like in erotic content?

J.P.B:  I think, just like men, it depends on the woman. I like watching men get tied up. I like the sounds they make. I like their facial expressions. That is my preference. But I know women who watch gay porn who don’t like that kind of content. I know women who watch straight porn or lesbian porn. I think the commonality is that they’re looking for something to excite and inspire them.

T.P.L. NYC:  I’ve heard that many heterosexual women write this material and it appeals to many heterosexual female readers. Do you feel that erotic content for women and gay men is the same, or do you think that they are different? Or explain what makes them similar or different?

J.P.B.:  I have quite a few male readers, and actually – most of them read for the story more than the sexual content. They get excited by my words and the scenes I invoke in their minds, but what these men have told me they truly enjoy about my books is that they closely identify with my characters. I don’t write porn with a story around it. I write a compelling story with erotic scenes.

T.P.L. NYC:  When did you first discover that you liked the idea of men being sexual with one another?

J.P.B.: I started reading fan fiction [or] slash in 2008. A few of the girls that wrote it also talked about sites they’d go to online to research and watch men having sex. So, one night, I peeked at X-Tube to see what they were talking about. I’ve been watching ever since. I do generally prefer gay content over straight content when I read, because women in romance novels are portrayed as someone who needs to be saved. I’m not one of those women.

T.P.L. NYC:  Do you write about any other types of sexualities aside from gay ones?

J.P.B.:  My Forbidden Room series is ménage with heterosexual, homosexual, and group scenes. Sometimes I write heterosexual short stories, and I have written a few lesbian scenes into longer works.

T.P.L. NYC:   You have some adult performers that pose for your book covers, tell me a bit about the process of how you book them for a cover?

J.P.B.:  My first adult model cover came about because of an off-hand comment I made on Twitter. I mentioned that I would love to have Trent Diesel on the cover and he tweeted back asking me why I couldn’t. He set up a photo shoot with a photographer and sent me images to choose. With Parker Perry’s [cover]…he’d seen the Trent Diesel cover and admired it, so I asked him. He agreed and hooked me up with a studio to license an image. Both models received a framed print of the cover, and I’ve passed out nearly a thousand bookmarks with their images, names, and twitter addresses to help promote their careers. After that, models began volunteering.

(c) J.P. Barnaby

T.P.L. NYC:  After meeting men who are essentially a fantasy, what are they like in reality?

J.P.B.:  Honestly, these guys are some of the nicest people I’ve ever met. Most of them aren’t the least bit pretentious or arrogant. I spend [weekends] at [their] houses … and I’ve talked to [them] and they keep me laughing. They’re just fun-loving boys with an interesting job.

T.P.L. NYC:  I have heard that there are lesbians who enjoy gay male porn. What do you think the appeal of this is to lesbians? Why not enjoy lesbian porn?

J.P.B.: Since I’m not a lesbian, I can’t really speak intelligently about the question.

T.P.L. NYC: You are also a software writer; does anyone at your day job know or mind that you write this type of material?

J.P.B.:  My penname is actually my name, so I don’t keep any secrets to my sexuality or my writing genre. Some people know that I write others know that I write romance, and most know that I write gay romance.

T.P.L. NYC:  What is it like being a member of Mensa? Do they ever have gatherings for you guys to meet? Do you ever tell them what you write about?

J.P.B.: Pretty much, all I’ve ever gotten from being a member of Mensa is a plaque and bragging rights. J They do have meetings, and they also have different chapters including a few for erotic writers.

T.P.L. NYC:  How do your friends and family respond to your writing?

J.P.B.:  My friends and family are supportive. My mother wishes I’d write something she could read, and most of my other family just describe me as a “romance author”, but no one has been critical. They know me well enough to know that I believe in the genre of gay romance, just as I believe in marriage equality and the fight against bullying our GLBT kids.

T.P.L. NYC:  Of all the books you have written, which one do you think is the fan favorite?

J.P.B:  My bestselling book to date has been Mastering the Ride, but I think that has more to do with the beautiful man on the cover than the content. The cover model for that book is Trent Diesel, and the image is gorgeous.

T.P.L. NYC:  Of your own work, which story, book, or characters do you like the best?

J.P.B.:  My very favorite character is Master Ethan from the Forbidden Room series, specifically A House of Cards. He is autobiographical, and through him I explored a lot of questions I had about my own sexuality and other events in my life. He has all of my quirks, mannerisms, and social oddities.

T.P.L. NYC:  What are your writing preferences? Do you use an outline or just write organically? How long does it take you to write a book? What is your process like?

J.P.B.:  I write completely from the seat of my pants. I do a character biography so I’ll know how he will react in any situation, but other than that, I just close my eyes and let it flow. It generally takes me between three and six months to complete a novel and submit it for publication.

My process is very simple – I write the entire first draft and submit it to my personal editor for review. I develop a second draft which then goes to a group of pre-readers (female and male including some of my new model friends). I respond to their feedback and then send the completed manuscript to a publisher with a cover letter and synopsis for review. If I’ve been invited to submit to that publisher, I’ll send it to the editor that asked me to work with them.

Once I have a solid release date, I license the cover image I plan to use and send it to my graphic artist who creates not only a gorgeous cover, but also coordinating bookmarks for promotion.

T.P.L. NYC:  How did you pitch this to a publisher? What was it like seeing your work published for the first time?

J.P.B.:  The Little Boy Lost series was difficult for me to pitch because the main character was 16 when the book started and both boys were 17 the first time they made love. Most publishers within my genre will not work with a manuscript that has characters under 18. So, I queried them first to make sure they’d even consider the novel and they asked me to submit an entire package for all 6 books in the series. They contracted the whole set.

The first time I held The Forbidden Room in my hands, or even more powerfully when I signed my name to a six book publishing contract – these moments were truly beyond words. I recently finished the Little Boy Lost series, and typing those final words were like nothing I’d imagined.

T.P.L. NYC:  It seems that you like to write and read a lot about the concept of love. How do you see love now?

J.P.B.:  I don’t know that I see love any differently. I write about fictionalized love, granted a realistic as I can make it, but still they aren’t real people. They are characters, players upon a stage which I can put through any number of calamities, but real relationships aren’t guaranteed a happily ever after.

T.P.L. NYC:  I have read many horror stories about women who have married men who later turned out to be gay. How would you feel about being in a relationship with a bisexual man? Do you think you are more into the fantasy, or would not mind it in your real life?

J.P.B.:  I would LOVE to have a relationship with a bisexual man. That would be like the very best of both worlds.  A guy I get to watch having sex with other men who is also attracted to me. SCORE.

(c) J.P. Barnaby

T.P.L. NYC:  Since this is a blog about peculiar things, tell me what is the most peculiar thing you have ever written about?

J.P.B.:  In a short story called Lessons Learned that I wrote as a free download for the Rainbow Book Fair in New York, I wrote about docking which I found to be rather interesting. For those who are unaware, docking is the act of putting a penis tip inside the foreskin of an uncircumcised penis for the purpose of masturbation. I’d never heard of the practice before a fan requested that I write about it.

Currently, I’m also researching the subject of fire flogging for an upcoming novel. I found that to be a fascinating subject as well.

T.P.L. NYC:  You have visited New York City, tell me what is the most peculiar thing you have seen while here?

J.P.B.:  I have been to New York City twice – once in October for Hustlaball at Club Rebel and the second time I went to the Black Party Expo. What haven’t I seen? At Hustlaball, [people]  had sex on stage both with each other and a bat. In the VIP room upstairs I sat down on a couch with friends – soon after a guy sat down next to me just as his partner dropped to his knees before him. At the Black Party Expo, they had a pie hole eating contest. I’m sure they were probably getting crust out of their bottoms for hours. Then we look over to watch three guys having sex on a prop bed at one of the booths. New York was an experience for me.

T.P.L. NYC:  You interview and work with a lot of people in the adult industry. Did you have any apprehensions getting into such an industry? What is it like being a writer in the industry?

J.P.B.:  Initially, I started talking to some of the models while researching the industry for the Little Boy Lost series in which both protagonists become models. It wasn’t enough for me to watch the pretty videos that everyone sees. I wanted to know what things were like behind the scenes and the guys I spoke to helped me with that. I found out some things that I never would have thought of as detailing for the novels. For example, a porn scene can take up to 8 or 10 hours for those 20 minutes of video that you see. The guys almost never orgasm at the same time and so they will wipe off the first guy and put silicone lube in place of the semen as they wait for the second guy to reach his peak.

T.P.L. NYC:   What can we look forward to seeing from you in the future?

J.P.B.:   I currently have several works in process. I like to work on more than one book at a time so that when I get stuck on one, I’m always moving forward with something. The one that is nearest to my heart, however, is Aaron:

The boy’s heart slammed against his ribs as his sheets bound him, wrapping tendrils of cotton around his arms and legs. Hot breath exploded from his lungs in sharp bursts as he fought against their hold. He tried, and failed, to keep the blinding fear at bay. As his arms pulled free of his nocturnal bindings, he searched the dark corners of his room, and several minutes passed before the fear burned off into white-hot rage. Two years had passed since the attack, but night after night his dreams continued to torture him. It’s a wonder he ever slept. Even with the regimen of pills his so-called doctors forced on him, he just felt like a walking corpse.

The description fit so well because everything inside him had died.

Forcing back the wave of nausea that plagued him every morning when the drugs wore off, he pushed back the blankets. Peering between the heavy blue curtains, he focused on the sky outside. Each of his days were full of repetition and habit, some far stranger than others. For example, the weird game of Russian Roulette he played with himself each morning dictated that if the sky was blue and the sun was shining, he could find it within himself to brave just one more day. If, however, he saw a dark and ominous sky, he would roll to his side, face the wall, and pull the covers up over his head. Invariably, his mother would come in to check on him, wanting nothing more than the kiss his forehead or smooth sleep disheveled hair, but she never did. Instead, she tried not to mourn the loss of her son, but to embrace the broken disfigured boy left in his place.

The sun’s harsh rays caused him to squint as he gazed through the gap in the curtains, so he forced himself to get up. Grabbing his clothes, the boy shuffled into the bathroom to start his daily routine. Everything in his life revolved around routine. Every mood, every activity, seemingly every thought was closely monitored and controlled through the drugs, because anything unexpected in his day was liable to cause a melt-down. For once, he’d like to get through a day without being nearly incapacitated by fear and pain, and once again be a fully functioning human being.

At eighteen, his life was over.

Fans  and new readers can learn more about J.P. Barnaby at her website www.jpbarnaby.com.

(c) J.P. Barnaby

Moon in Aries: The “I Am” Interview

Technically, there was a new moon on April 21st. Even though I missed it, I still wanted to celebrate with a post. So with a new moon that is a little under a week old, it makes me think of my own natal moon. I've read a bit about astrology, turns out it's a whole psudo science that can fill several volumes. I began to think about the moon and her symbol as the embodiment of all things emotional. Her maternal nature is shown through the sign of Cancer which is the mother of the zodiac. It's a big role to fill for a giant, cold rock. Still there is some paralleism that makes sense. We only have one moon, just like most of us only have one mother we are born from. She spirals on around us being a close comfort and guardian guiding us through the darkness of night. She is the celestial body that sticks the closest to us, which is pretty sweet when you think about how expansive the universe is.

My natal moon was in the sign of Aries, and it seemed like a good idea to start with the beginning of the Zodiac. The beginning is Aries, Mr. God of War himself. What can be said of the aggressive, pushy fire sign that leads all other signs into a cycle of mystery, adventure, and plenty of fireworks to light the way? Yep, that's Aries best characterized by the key phrase of “I Am”.  Everyone has a story to tell, and it seemed cathartic to make the subject of this interview, well, me. Not so innovative and childish, we all got to start somewhere. Personally, I can’t say that I’ve always like Aries. Most of the time he’s the bullying jock on the playground with too much roid rage, and at other times he’s the captain not short on courage.  Maybe that’s why we put up with his childish antics, because being the child of the Zodiac he has yet to travel the road ahead of him.

Still, this post is a retrospective on me, and I looked at my own natal chart to see what could be said about Aries to shed light on why I feel the way I feel about him. I figured the best way was to ask myself. Having a natal sun in Sagittarius, I find Aries as the second part of my “trinity” as he is uncomfortably paired with my natal moon in the second house.

1.)    What exactly does it mean to have your natal Moon in Aries?

      Traditionally, the Aries Moon has been in detriment. So, when placed within the moon it sounds like it could be a remake of the Odd Couple. From a personal stand point, it would suggest a bad relationship between the two because Aries is known for being impulsive and impatient and tuning out when not interested. The moon governs emotional ties, so it can be a pretty big bomb when the T.N.T power of Aries acts as a conductor for the emotional energy of the moon. Sometimes, I think crimes of passion or criminal escapades revolve around people with their moon in Aries… can anyone say Al Capone?

2.)    How do you feel its influences?

      I blame my Pieces Rising sign because it likes to hide it from me. My trinity is a sun in Sagittarius, Pieces rising and a moon in Aries. For a long time, I used to think that having all that mutable energy is what put me at odds with myself. Having somewhat of a bias against Aries already, I didn’t really concentrate on my moon for a long time because I didn’t feel like it really fit in with the other two placements. I tended to blame most of my shortcomings on my Venus in Scorpio. However, with the Pisces influence, I forget that the fish sometimes have me sink into cloudy water when I don’t want to witness certain things at play in my life. Nevertheless, I feel his horns ramming me the most over the small things. My irritation levels skyrocket while maneuvering through a crowded street while trying to avoid tourists. Perhaps it’s just working in New York City, but there is a definite stride I take that is fast and focused, like I’m on a mission.  I feel Aries in my ear when charged $20 dollars for a meal that could fit in a can of cat food that my more dignified Mars in Libra agreed to eat based on the collective choice of my friends. Although for fear of hurting even the restaurant chairs feelings, my Pisces Rising will find something to compliment, while my Mars in Libra decides to be diplomatic in shackling the feelings of my moon in Aries into silence by changing the subject, which leads my Aries moon to get more schizophrenic. I feel it the most when I'm in love though. There is this impulse to want to run and hug, and a high level of fire when something hits home deep like with rejection or maybe even a simple "no".

3.)    Do you feel there are any benefits to an Aries Moon?

        I would like to think most real astrologers t don’t play favorites and have an impartial view towards every placement; they are just the messengers after all. It’s like a doctor having to tell a patient that they have a terminal disease. It’s hard to feel good about it, but I think most doctors try to emphasis survivor stories. I read a few websites that people with their moon in Aries can be successful artists because their creative pursuits are tied to their emotions. Having that extra thrust can be like a shot of hope or adrenaline if need be. There have even been some statements on how the moon in Aries can make one optimistic and generous. I guess with fire it is easier to see. Aries is flashy and makes itself known, even if the bearer would like more discretion. If I’m upset, angry, or even overjoyed about anything, I might as well have a large, pink neon sign above my head. No matter what my Pisces Rising or Libra Mars have to say about it, if the feeling is strong enough, it is going to show. It might leave one to think that there is a certain level of honesty because what I present is what you’re going to get. Thankfully, the moon tends to move more rapidly through the signs, which gives a bit of a fleeting feeling to most of the “less dignified” displays that can be brought on by an Aries moon.  

4.)    Do you think the house placement makes a difference?

I guess most of astrology comes in 3 steps. You have the planets, the signs, and then the house that acts as the theatre for the other two to perform in. My Aries Moon had taken up refuge in the second house. In many ways, I think I should be thankful, because the moon can actually make up a nice home in the house of money and finances. There is a sense of values and security that is exalted in the second house when the moon occupies it, however that volatile, stubborn Aries gets in and makes a mess. I can often feel the effects of Aries in my second house with a phrase that could best sum up the experience: “Impulse Spending.”  So when I spoke about all those stifling feelings that kind of jump out of nowhere, they usually are soothed by a quick fix purchase. It should be noted that my expenses are not exurbanite, thank the stars, because I could find myself easily in debt with this placement. I tend to thank my Mercury in Capricorn for a methodical thinking that usually starts with pulling in the reigns and then tellling me that money and things can't buy a cap over that hole in your heart.  So yes, I do think the house placement makes a difference, but once again, in the case of Aries, not sure it makes a good one.

 5.)    Any last words in the Moon in Aries?

Yeah, I can’t say that I’ve been kind about it, but then again, Aries tends to let things roll off its back, and even with all the emotional highs and lows the moon can bring, so do I. With all its faults, it forces us with a shove and a holler into the world. It reminds us that with torches ablaze we can’t sit around and think all the time, take a lesson air, worry about other’s feelings, how’s that feel water, and that nothing could be built and started without its call, sorry earth. Within its grasp lies dedication and passion, and when lead with the symbolic imagery of the moon it can grant on those born under its glow their greatest gift…conviction.  

April's Peculiar Person of the Month: Justin Lockwood

Teacher, writer, and devoted fan boy Justin Lockwood screams bloody murder for This Peculiar Life NYC; his self-created Facebook page offers horror fans a different slice on the slasher genre. Gutting out an open niche with his online community Monster Nation, Justin lets us in on what his one nation under ghouls will do for horror fans from all back grounds. Beginning his life in Springfield, Ma – the same town as Dr. Seuss – he has since wondered down the blood covered sorority row of horror. 





Peculiar Person of the month Justin Lockwood outside the orginal house from Halloween.



This Peculiar Life NYC:  How did the idea for Monster Nation come about?

Justin Lockwood: At one point I thought it would be fun to do an outing club or even a convention for gay horror fans, since there seem to be quite a few, and there’s been an uptick in “geeky” gay groups centered around sci-fi/comics, etc. lately.  Someone suggested I start a Facebook group to attract people that way, and by the time I put it up I decided I’d rather target horror fans first and gays second rather than throw it at a ton of gays who might have no interest in horror.  I figured my gay sensibility would shine through, anyway, and that I was ultimately more interested in befriending horror freaks in general.

T.P.L. NYC:  What all does the page offer?

J.L. When I visit fan pages and groups on Facebook, I love to click through pictures, and currently Monster Nation has over 100 photos and 22 galleries.  A lot of the galleries are more like essays as I include detailed captions commenting on great scream queens, horror directors, film series, and whatnot.  There are also links to rare music videos and various news stories or articles about horror films and television series past and present.  Whenever possible I let people know about events and screenings that they can catch in the New York area; a lot of theaters revive classic horror flicks and conventions come around here fairly often, too.  There’s also some stuff about local filming locations, like the apartment building from The Sentinel (1977), which was shot right near my workplace in Brooklyn Heights. I try to update the group several times a week if not daily.

T.P.L. NYC:  Do you feel the role of social media has been better or worse for monster lovers?

J.L: It’s a double-edged sword: on the one hand, there are tons of fan sites, news resources, and places for horror fans to visit on the web; on the other hand, there’s a lot of marketing garbage.  Ever since Blair Witch, studios think they can sell their micro-budget horror flicks through internet savvy, but not all of these movies are actually good, of course.  For every Paranormal Activity there’s an Apollo 18.  I’ve even read criticisms recently that Bloody-Disgusting.com has completely sold out to the production company that bought their first feature film, and they do host a lot of puff pieces for films of widely varying quality.  Then again, no one ever accused the internet of being a bastion of accuracy and fairness.

T.P.L. NYC: What are some of your favorite monsters?

J.L.: I have to rate Michael Myers and Norman Bates at the top, since Halloween and Psycho are my two all-time favorites and the original movies essentially gave birth to modern day horror.  I also have a soft spot for Freddy Krueger—even the worst Nightmare on Elm St. sequels have their moments, and several of them are classics—and [well there’s also] zombies [too].

Justin as the Thanksgiving Killer from Grindhouse.

T.P.L. NYC: As a horror buff, what is it about the genre that appeals to you so much?

J.L.: Ever since I was a little kid, I loved Halloween, monsters, and spooky things.  I don’t know why, they just held an intense appeal for me.  My own preschool teachers thought I needed to be evaluated because I was obsessed with them!  I remember drawing a vampire and explaining to one of my teachers that the outside of his cape was black and the inside was red.  As I got older, my dad introduced me to all the great modern horror movies, mostly on video, though we saw a few of them and various other genre flicks at weekday matinees.  I loved jumping at the “jump” moments and being freaked out by the most effective films.  The first time I watched Halloween, I thought the fan in my room was Michael Myers breathing.  I love other, non-horror movies, too, but I will forever gravitate towards the horror genre.  Sometimes, even a bad horror movie is the most entertaining option for an afternoon or evening on the couch.

Poster for one of the many Halloween sequals

T.P.L. NYC: Who are some of your influences?

J.L.: It extended beyond horror, but Kevin Williamson, who wrote Scream and created Dawson’s Creek, was a big influence on me.  I wrote a couple of plays in high school that were highly influenced by his hyper-verbal style, and my closet door used to be covered in pictures of his shows and movies.  Horror-wise, he also did I Know What You Did Last Summer, The Faculty, and a bunch of the dialogue and stuff for Halloween: H20.  My other favorite directors are John Carpenter (he made half a dozen movies I’ve seen multiple times), Wes Craven, and George A. Romero (mainly for the Living Dead series).  Stephen King did some really iconic stuff, obviously.  As far as actors, Tony Perkins (Norman Bates), Janet Leigh (Marion Crane), and Jamie Lee Curtis (Laurie Strode and about a zillion other horror roles) top my list, along with Adrienne Barbeau, Donald Pleasence, and Lance Henriksen. 

T.P.L. NYC:  How do you feel the landscape of horror has changed through the decades?

J.L.: It’s gone through so many permutations.  In the 30s and 40s you had the iconic Universal monsters, and it was all about style and characterization.  The 50s had more of a sci-fi bent with the Cold War/Atomic paranoia in The Thing From Another World, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, and all the alien and monster thrillers.  Things started to get darker in the 60s, starting with Psycho and Peeping Tom (the latter of which I’m still ashamed I haven’t seen) and continuing on with Roman Polanski’s Rosemary’s Baby.  Now it was less about larger than life monsters and more about the evil next door, or within your own family—or even, as with Rosemary, in your own body!  One of the brilliant things about horror, in my opinion, is how it can dramatize and distort real life fears; for instance, every woman who gets pregnant worries something awful will happen to her baby.  The 60s and 70s were where this type of thing really got started.  George Romero and crew said that Night of the Living Dead was just trying to be a good “monster movie,” but in the context it was released in it really resonated with all the turmoil in America: the violence of Vietnam and the Civil Rights movement.  People felt similarly about The Texas Chainsaw Massacre a few years later.  And NOTLD really changed horror movies forever by upping the ante in terms of making them effective and believable.  The story is so outlandish, but because of the documentary-like way it’s shot, the interwoven news reports, and all the other naturalistic touches it feels utterly real.  The 70s gave birth to the whole slasher craze that dominated the 80s.  Black Christmas, Chainsaw, and Halloween were stylish and fun, but they were also incredibly scary.  They’re just deeply unnerving movies, and part of what makes them so indelible is that they offer absolutely no resolution or easy answers.  Even in Psycho, which clearly paved the way for them, you had the psychiatrist coming in and explaining Norman’s psyche so you could catch your breath and calm down.  All of these new thrillers ended with the killer still on the loose, and most of the cast has come to a bloody end.  There were also some great “devil” movies, namely The Exorcist and The Omen.  They’re so iconic and parodied now, but at the time they just blew people’s minds.  There were plenty of “dead teenager” movies in the 80s, most of which just ripped off Halloween, but there was a lot of really interesting, cool stuff, too.  It’s probably my personal favorite decade for horror films.  You’ve got A Nightmare on Elm Street, which turned the slasher paradigm on its head by bringing in the dream element, and Sam Raimi’s two Evil Dead movies, which were so twisted and over-the-top they fell into comic territory—and that was okay, it worked beautifully. 

Scene from Nightmare on Elm Steet 2: Freddy's Revenge

J.L.: The humor was really strong in 80s films, and you had some great horror comedies like Ghostbusters, Fright Night, and Gremlins.  And they all tried to out-do each other with the gore and makeup effects.  It was such a fun and daring decade.  The 90s were sort of strange and moribund until Scream came along in ’96.  The slasher trend had completely petered out and suddenly Scream sent it up and yet somehow kept it scary.  That led to a bunch of self-aware movies that just ripped off Scream, but it was the supernatural stuff that really made an impact.  The Blair Witch Project and The Sixth Sense were excellent, blockbuster movies, both released in 1999.  It was like filmmakers and studios suddenly remembered that something besides serial killers could be frightening.  There have been absolutely terrific movies made since with supernatural elements, like Insidious.  (A lot of good “shaky cam” movies, too.) But the 2000s so far have been very strange for horror.  Rob Zombie came onto the scene with House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects, and I don’t care what anyone says, the man’s a genius.  Sure, all his movies are like profane white trash talent pageants, but his visuals are off the hook and he’s not afraid to be vicious and nasty.  But I don’t think the past decade will be viewed very favorably years from now; we got all the torture porn that’s more sick than scary.  Saw and Hostel were both interesting films, albeit stomach churning ones, but then it was like enough is enough.  How many ways can you mutilate someone?  And of course it’s remake city.  Some of the remakes are pretty cool, but what does it say about a genre when all it seems to be doing is ripping itself off?  Still, if my totally rambling response demonstrates anything, it’s that the horror genre is incredibly elastic and ever-changing.  So here’s hoping it changes into something more interesting soon.

An evil Gremlin from Gremlins

T.P.L. NYC: Do you feel that horror movies are better now as opposed to thirty years ago?
J.L.: No.  I don’t want to be one of those “remember the good old days” types, necessarily, but I feel like horror isn’t as blessed as it used to be.  There are still really good movies being made, mostly independents, but the overall output is a microcosm of movies in general.  Everything’s a sequel, remake, or adaptation because studios are hemorrhaging money and they all want a “pre-sold property.”  So they don’t support original scripts or new talent, or they focus on all the wrong things, like “rebooting” some franchise. 

T.P.L. NYC: Do you think horror movies depend too much on movie magic as opposed to chills and suspense?

J.L.: The bad ones do.  I’m a sucker for old-fashioned slow burn suspense—I’ll put up with nothing big happening for the first hour if you build up the characters and atmosphere and pay it off at the end.  Good effects used sparingly are a million times better than wall to wall “gags.”  And while we’re on the subject, filmmakers should really use makeup and practical effects more.  I Am Legend was a pretty cool movie, but those lame CGI vampires ruined the whole thing.

T.P.L. NYC: What are some of the typical things that people discuss on Monster Nation?

J.L.: A lot of people debate the specific movies and things that I post about.  I enjoy it when people argue.  I loved this indie ghost story The Inn-keepers but other people were ranting about how much they hated it.  And some of the personal stories are great—one guy posted that he’d gone to a yard sale at Elvira’s house years back.


T.P.L. NYC: If you managed to make it to the end of the movie, which famous last girl standing would you want to be trapped in the elevator with? Tell me your favorite scream queen essentially.

J.L.: Jamie Lee Curtis, hands down.  I think Kevin Williamson really nailed it when he called her “the Goddess, the Earth mother to us all.”  She’s just such a classy, intelligent, interesting actress and she gave great performances in the Halloween series, The Fog, and all the others.  Even in Halloween: Resurrection, which is a dreadful movie, she’s great.  I also love the fact that she’s essentially retired from acting and now focuses on writing children’s books, which are best sellers and which I’ve read to my kids many times.  I really respect her for that.



Still from Halloween with Jamie Lee

T.P.L. NYC: You are also a writer, what are some of the publications you write for?

J.L.: When I was a teenager I wrote for the teen section of the local paper, including quite a few horror reviews and features.  I was probably the only kid in their bullpen who wanted to write up Ravenous.  These days I do film reviews and features, most of them art and theater related, for Next, which is a gay magazine covering Manhattan’s queer cultural scene.


T.P.L. NYC: Has the horror element spilled over into your own writing?

J.L.: I’ve gotten some cool horror assignments from Next, like reviewing a foreign cannibal movie (We Are What We Are, not to be confused with the Kei$ha song) and interviewing the creator of NYC’s Nightmare haunted house.  I got in trouble for that one: I told the guy I didn’t think the house was scary when I went, and their publicist went ballistic.  The closest thing I’ve done to writing horror fiction is a play about Vampira and her relationship with James Dean.  I have an idea for a novel about Ed Gein—the real-life inspiration for Psycho—that maybe I’ll do one of these days.

T.P.L. NYC: The site is about peculiar people, so what is the most peculiar thing about Monster Nation? Any peculiar posts that stick out the most?

J.L.: Not to conflate “gay” with “peculiar,” but the galleries on queer horror and “Horror Hunks” are probably things you wouldn’t see on too many other horror sites.  One time a guy and his boyfriend looked like they were getting into a fight over comments on something the guy posted.  Another time someone posted about Yellow Brick Road, which is a really sick and nasty independent horror flick, and the first person to comment was my mom.  (And yes, she had seen it.)

T.P.L. NYC: Being a resident in New York for so long, what is the most peculiar thing you think you have experienced while living here?

J.L.: I don’t know if it’s the most peculiar thing I’ve ever experienced here, but I recently saw what I thought was the aftermath of a real car accident on Montague Street in Brooklyn, only to find out it was for a zombie themed New York Lotto commercial!  Later that day, we were walking the kids back from the playground, and zombie extras started streaming off of Montague and walking parallel to us.  They were all made up and ashen faced, and a lot of them were staring at my kids, who were totally unaware of them!  That was a real “only in New York” moment.

The lovely Elvira

T.P.L. NYC: What upcoming things can we expect to see on Monster Nation or other projects that you are working on?

J.L.: Monster Nation will continue to post new and interesting horror content, and I encourage you all to join if you’re interested in the genre.  Stay posted for our first event posting soon.